You will be four months old on Monday. I have not spent more than a few moments away from you in that time. We have been a part of one another since you chose me to be your Mama 12 months ago.
Today you are sleeping alone - in our big family bed & I'm waiting for you to wake so that I can kiss you again & feel the warmth you give back as you smile at me with that big gummy grin.
You don't usually sleep alone - you like me to be close. Even when you were days old if we weren't touching you would somehow wriggle closer to me. A hand, a cheek, a cuddle was always needed. By us both I think. But today you sleep alone. One hour now & I miss you.
You are hard work sometimes - emotionally & physically. You still wake 2-3 hourly day & night. You don't like the pram or the car & you demand constant attention. But all of that melts away if you cough or cry or smiile. My heart breaks everytime I think you're unhappy & everytime I know you love me.
You are becoming more cheeky. Lately you like to be wrapped up to go to sleep. When you were tiny you didn't. You liked to have your hands free, you would stretch out your fingers or lace them together. You would get upset even if they slipped into your sleeve. But now, for sleep you like to be wrapped.
I lay you down on your blanket & you wail then I wrap one side around you & you give me a big grin, then the other side & a smile so wide gets wider. Your eyes sparkle at me, I don't know if they say "thanks Mama for knowing" or "no way Mama, play with me" but I pop in your dummy & snuggle you close to me. Again you wail, then stop, close your eyes, sign & fall asleep. If you don't drift off quickly I kiss you softly beteween your eyes & sing twinkle little star (sometimes many times) & you soon doze off.
I love you little one. More than I understand. I hope I can be all that you need me to be. Love Mama.