Wednesday, February 20, 2013

They were good ones

20th February, 2013

Today....

"Dear Granny & Pop,   

My house is a mess, the washing needs to be put away. Milo has a new friend coming to play tomorrow with his Mum. I really should be tidying up but it’s driving me crazy that I haven’t been in touch for soooooo long and so I left my dishrag on the bench, wiped my hands on my apron and sat down here to type.
I miss you both so much. Every time we think we have carved out a way to visit, the winds blow in and the sands change. You are in my thoughts all of the time. Milo often talks of you both and asks when we can visit again. Did you get the seeds he sent you? 
He wanted to send you a gift thought that all farmers need seeds, so he chose those.
They were good ones from diggers. I hope they took.

Milo is in Class 1. He came home yesterday talking about Degarni, the Dangerous Dragon who lives in the Deep Dark Dungeon. They are learning letters. IT makes me so happy and also so surprised that he is already this ‘old’. I thought that sitting at a desk would be a challenge for him but he seems to be doing well. We have a parent/teacher interview tonight so I guess I will soon find out if his teacher thinks so too.

Jasper is 3!!! Thank you for the cards you send on our birthdays. We so love to receive them. Jasper is a delight. He is soo funny. Such a great sense of humour. He is my soft one. He will be my baby long after Noah I think. He is also STUBBORN. Bloody redheads :-)    He wants to go to a ballet class. I think he got the idea from cousin Mia. He asks me every single day. I’m taking him for a trial next week. 

Noah is 8 months. Just a couple of weeks ago, when he was still 7 months, he learned to sit up alone, crawl properly and pull himself to standing (one handed). All in one week.
He is in a hurry. Still no teeth. He wont let me feed him with a spoon, he will only eat what he can feed himself. He has a crazy bad temper. But is so determined. These children sure can tach us a lot.....! He is lovely. He laughs all the time at Jasper and Milo , its the sweetest thing to hear your children giggling together. 

Paul is playing heaps of music these days. We have made some wonderful new friends in Balnarring, all musical, openhearted, peaceful folk. We are Blessed to have such good people in our lives. Still he doesn’t like his job. I hate that he has to go and do something everyday that he hates so much. 

Me.... ?
Married 11 years this coming Saturday! Married with 3 children even. I am not qualified for this level of responsibility. I think there must have been a mix up somewhere.
I am so IN THIS. There is little room for anything else. I need to be patient and know that it will come soon enough. My biggest challenge is organisation. I want it. I desire it. I constantly strive for it. And yet, I also reject it. I am rebelling against myself it seems!

How are you both? I am so pleased to hear your news about the farm. Are are the new house plans coming along? What will you do with Chocco?

So much love to you both. Always.

x Julie, Paul, Milo, Jasper & Noah "

(Photo from 27th August, 2012 ~ that's 5 months ago!!!)

Friday, February 15, 2013

I have this friend...

15th February, 2013

I have this friend.
She is a light worker. What ever that means.
She is the one who first taught me to 'follow the light'.
She is the one I turn to in my sadness. And in my joy.
In my confusion she holds my hand, and weaves a cord from my tangled web back towards the light.
She is my Sister. She is my Mother. She is my Midwife.


She is my Angel.
And together we travel this endless cycle. BirthLifeDeath.
I am Blessed.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

lost

2nd February, 2013

I've lost my ability to edit. Never one of my strong points, but now it seems as the months pass by so quickly and the moments to reflect are so few, I want to remember everything. Every detail, every expression, every sound, every emotion. And I am so overwhelmed with that.
I (finally) finished editing a family photo session today. There are twice as many photographs to present as there 'should' be. Because I cannot know which moments that Mama wants to remember, and so I gave her them all.

But it's not just my photographs. Editing is needed in every area of my life right now.

Or maybe it's Lilith.
Moon in Scorpio.
Head in hands.


(image source unknown)

Applicants apply here.



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Double. Trouble

23rd January, 2013



Friends. After all is said and done. Friends. 
It warms my heart.
(and scares me silly that I can see a 20 year old in J's face... *gulp*)


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

an elfin cap

31st October, 2012

Playing catch up.....


Halloween win = last minute costumes pulled from the dress up basket, big eyes & smiles begging Mama 'pleeeeease, can we go tick or teating'.
3 houses: more booty than these sheltered children have EVER seen. Noah wore an elfin cap (love).
I won't get started on the complexities of Samhain/Beltane, rather I will indulge in the cute & cheeky of chocolate for a smile (& flowers they gave in gratitude).

Monday, September 17, 2012

I begin to daydream...

17th September, 2012

I anticipate the first Spring egg before the children. The leaves begin to uncurl, the Sun teases me with a little warmth in its light, I begin to daydream about the possibilities in the year ahead.

And I know that it will soon be time.

I check every day or so.
Quietly, when the children aren't looking. Then when I'm sure it's close I encourage them to check.

And then...


The surprise!


And the delight. It's pure magic. 
Especially when big brother is at school & it's the first time you've found the egg alone.


Saturday, September 15, 2012

*melt*

15th September, 2012

The Queenscliff-Sorrento Ferry was celebrating 25 years. We spent the day travelling across the bay.
On board pirates handing out gold coins, mini golf & facepainting. Lunch at Queenscliff & icecream at Sorrento. A family outing ~ hi-five!

Jaspers first facepainting. *melt*

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Suspended in space

April 4th, 2012

My crazy, wild, airy, gemini boy...

You love this cosy place in my hammock. You love to curl up inside and close the top like a giant cocoon. You chatter away to yourself, or shout demands and questions to us from within. Sometimes you swing it wildly back and forth. You have decided you want to sleep in there with a doona. "It's sooo comfy Mama"
You like being in the air. Suspended in space. You like the predictability of the rocking rhythm. You like being able to shut out the 'everything' for a while.
I like it for you too. And so I sigh, and give up my hammock, and love that you love it too.



                    He was cross with me.....                                         ... but an audience always brings great delight. 

Monday, April 2, 2012

Ponder yonder

2nd April, 2012

So...
It's been a while.

I'm just trying this on, to see if it still fits. What it feels like. I'm not sure.

I would love to continue this record but I'm not sure I have the time or commitment. I'm wondering about starting fresh. With a new page.

A new identity. Isn't it odd how we can do that in cyberspace?

I have learned and changed so much since the conception of Mermaid Dreaming....


Friday, February 3, 2012

change

3rd February, 2012

PREP!

One year.
So much change.

One Summer holiday.
Never to be forgotten.




I'm noticing the details. I'm trying to remember them. Sometimes the changes are subtle. Soft.
Sometimes.


And sometimes they're not. 
Sometimes they're loud. Sometimes they're excited. Sometimes they're bursting with nervous anticipation. Sometimes the giddy & glee is more than can be contained. 
As it should be.

Sweet boy. I love you so. I wish this next change to be full of joy & beauty & friendships & stability. 
I hope to see your happy overflow. x