as-ever-as-long-as-I-can

March, 2012

14th ~ Reading

21st ~ Dancing

8th ~ Library 

If only he'd sleep in bed. At 11am. When I want him to.
We cuddle up together at 11, we snuggle in & I smell his (still) baby skin. His soft curls fall against my cheek & I wrap my arm around his round belly. He holds my hand & cuddles my arm. It feels so good.

In the midst of the talk about new-baby, about big-brother, about change. It feels so very good, to have these moments together. I cherish them with all my heart. My womb-space longs for his babyhood, for the need to protect it & make it last as-ever-as-long-as-I-can. My heart breaks open with the sweetness of him. So tiny & so big.
So much love contained in one little body.

But sleep at 11 he does not.

Instead he loves it too. He sinks into it and soaks it all up. He cannot sleep for the joy of our embrace.
Instead he falls asleep later. And then he's awake much later at night than somebody only just 2 should be.
And really, I don't mind a bit x

He does not budge

May 25th, 2011

We like to walk. We need to walk. And wander.
If I'm in the garden, pulling weeds or visiting the plants, little J will take me by the hand. He looks at me with those big beautiful eyes, they inquire and decide in the same moment. He leads me down the driveway and onto the road. There's no way to refuse. I call for little M, "Let's go for a walk Milo, hurry". "What about the door Mama? Have you got the keys? Where are we going Mama?"
Nevermind the details, lets wander together.
And so we do.
Along and around and up and across and back. It never takes long before this little wanderer decides he will only walk on the road and not the grass. I'm patient. I gently lift him onto the grass, I hold his chubby little hand, I coax. He does not budge. He walks onto the road. I'm patient, I coax. And around we go again. And then I carry him home. Frustrated by his stubbornness and grateful for this closeness.
And just a teeny bit nervous about what's to come...