Five minutes alone with a pen, a coffee & the sunshine. Oh my god!!
Miles is 9 weeks old!!!!
He is delightful, demanding, exhausting & exhilarating.
Things are going really well. People ask 'is he a good baby?' Of course he is. Who knows a naughty baby? They are all infants & they all depend entirely on their parents for food, warmth, comfort, nourishment & stimulation.
We choose to give all of the above to Miles on demand. Exhausting ~ yes. He sleeps with us at night & on us during the day. Which makes moments such as these rare & precious.
I wish he would sleep alone during the day but I find it comforting that he wants to be with us.
He will sleep alone in good time. I need to remember that he is still a tiny babe & needs his parents 24/7. Soon enough he'll be too big & won't want cuddles.
The hardest thing is not the physical exhaustion - that's heavy but tolerable & expected. The hardest thing is the emotional toll. When he cries & we can't comfort him. When he's sick & we can't explain to him why. & then there's my needs which are lacking & find me feeling down. I feel uninspired & uninspiring. I'm bored at home all day & have nothing to offer in conversation past nappy business. I'm managing to keep the house pretty clean & organised but it doesn't satisfy my need to feel useful & be creative. Those things will come back in time. Never the way they were before but they will come.
I need to remember the value & importance of what I do everyday with Miles.
Every song, every smile, every story shapes his personality & stimulates his interest in learning. What higher value is there in any other task?
(photo credits to Paulie)
